I have done a lot of thinking these past couple weeks. For our senior year, we have to have an internship, two days a week, during the semester we have government as a course. We could either continue our junior internship, or find something else. And at this point, I am pretty torn about what I would want to do. I like working with the people here, and I really believe in what Playwrights Project is trying to do. But is this what I want to do next year? And in a broader sense, is working in an office, really something that I want to do as a career?
In short, no. I actually really dislike the idea of sitting down all day, working on a computer and making copies. I don't mind the filing, but I want to be up and doing something. This is something that I knew before I started, but this experience confirms it.
I watched a video of a play from last years Plays By Young Writers called "39-40" and this really puts into perspective what is supposed to be important in your life. The play was about a man who became a lawyer and made over &70,000 a year. But on his 40th birthday, he quit that job to do something that he actually enjoyed. He made half the money, but gained self-fulfillment and enjoyment from his life. Something which he did not have when he could bring home almost 3/4 of a million dollars a year. Money doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Happiness matters.
So that bring me back to what I want to do when I grow up. I still want to be an artist, whatever that ends up being, it just needs to make me happy. To me, I would rather make half as much as someone who works in an office, and be happy, than work somewhere that makes me miserable and make double the money. So my direction towards film had not changed with everything considered.
I know this blog post was a little bit long winded, and maybe not exactly what I was supposed to write about, but that is how I am feeling today. Plus this is my blog.
I will continue to work as tirelessly as I have been until the end of this internship. Maybe I will have time to think about what I want to do next year. Much hope.